


Colby's Story

by zibal_01



Series: Hitting Rock Bottom [2]
Category: Original Work, Sport; Ice Hockey
Genre: M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-22 01:16:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9575399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zibal_01/pseuds/zibal_01





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PurplePitty616161](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurplePitty616161/gifts).



** Colby's Story **

Joe stared at Colby.  "You... you tried to kill yourself?  I... I had no idea..."

"Hardly anyone knows," Colby admitted.  "My family... Jonny... Kasey... my shrink... that's all.  Everyone else thinks it was an accident..."

"Can... can I ask what happened?" Joe asked, softly.

"I was 18," Colby started, "and a Freshman at University of Michigan.  It was fine for a few months.  I was managing to juggle my academic requirements with my athletic requirements until I got injured...

"It wasn't serious," Colby continued.  "just as concussion, but I couldn't go to class... couldn't practice... couldn't do anything really."  Colby sounded really melancholic.

There was a long silence before Colby continued. "I'd also, finally, admitted to myself that I was gay.  Something to do with the massive crush that I had on my D-partner..."

"Jonny?"

"Yeah," Colby sighed.  "Jonny..."

"You're together... in a relationship?" Joe asked, hoping that Colby would not read too much into his question.

"Yeah," Colby confirmed.  "Just over five years now.  He helped me through a lot just by being there for me to talk to."

There was another silence.  Colby tried to straighten his thoughts out.  He had some memory blanks from that time - some due to the physical trauma, some due to the emotional trauma...

"What happened?" Joe asked, softly.

"The concussion isolated me," Colby started.  "As I said, I couldn't attend practice or class... there were days when I couldn't get out of bed.  "Post concussion syndrome" they call it.

"My friends stopped visiting as I kept falling asleep.  They were busy," Colby shrugged, "classes and practice... I became more and more isolated...

"Finally," Colby continued, "it became too much for me.  I was on my way home from a hospital appointment... I'd just been told that I still couldn't return to class or practice...

"It just happened," Colby spoke so softly that Joe had to strain to hear him.  "I was standing, waiting to cross the road.  There was a bus coming.  I... I just stepped out in front of it..."

Colby's statement hung in the air between them.  Tears streamed down his cheeks as the memories flooded through him. 

"I'm sorry, Colby," Joe muttered.  "I had no idea..."

Colby shook his head, "It's ok, Joe.  My fault.  I just wanted you to know that I really do understand what you're going through..."

"Thank you for sharing.  I know it can't have been easy for you..." Joe paused, trying to decide if he had any right to ask the next question.  He decided that he didn't. But asked it anyway.  "What... what happened to you?"

"I was wrecked," Colby started.  "Lots of broken bones - arms, legs, ribs... I was also knocked out.  With my history of concussion they placed me in a medically induced coma to allow my brain - and body - to heal properly.  I was under for six weeks..."

"That long?"

"Yeah.  They had decided that the accident was the result of a dizzy spell brought on by post concussion syndrome.  The coma allowed my brain to rest and my bones to heal, but," Colby sighed, "it just made everything else worse.  The loneliness... isolation... my grades... I basically missed most of my first semester.

"Then, the day after I was brought round, Jonathan Treloar stepped into my room.  He knew what really happened - he'd witnessed it," Colby paused, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes.  "He apologised for not being there for me while I was injured.  I... I thought that he was just feeling guilty, and wouldn't be back.  But he was.  Every day.  We talked.  He convinced me to get professional help.

"He also helped me sort out college, so that I could start again.  We ended up being D-partners again, even though he was a sophomore and I was a freshman.

"Then, almost exactly a year after Jonny first visited me in hospital, he kissed me," Colby sighed happily.  "Turned out that he'd felt the same way about me, and had been coming to ask me out when I, you know.  We've been together ever since, although it hasn't always been easy."

"is any relationship?" Joe asked sadly.

Colby filed Joe's reaction away to deal with later.  "He saw me step out in front of a bus.  He still gets nightmares... so, we're both in therapy.  Kasey, for all the clowning around, keeps an eye on both of us."

"How did you all end up at Mustangs?" Joe queried.  "You weren't drafted by them, were you?"

Colby smiled.  That was a very good question.  "No.  I was drafted by Rangers but, after everything that happened, I was never going to play for them," he paused before continuing.  "The Mustangs had managed to do enough deals to draft Jonny and Kasey together - a bit like the Canucks did to draft the Sedins...

"Once Jonny and I got together, we managed to convince my agent to approach the Mustangs about signing me after my three years were up," Colby shrugged.  "Mustangs could have had me for nothing but, I believe, Rangers got a 2nd and 3rd round pick for me.

"We all signed Entry Level Contracts after my sophomore year," Colby thought for a few moments.  "That was in 2012.  I was made Captain in 2013.  You have no idea how surprised I was by that.  Strangely, Jonny and Kasey weren't surprised, and they were both appointed as Alternates."

"Do you ever... ever feel like ending..." Joe's voice trailed off, but Colby knew exactly what he meant.

"S... sometimes," Colby replied, softly, "but I have a very good support network to turn to..."

"You're so lucky," Joe's eyes started to fill.  He turned his head away from Colby, so that he wouldn't see the tears.  He was surprised when Colby's hand engulfed one of his.

"You have too, Joe," Colby sounded really earnest.  "All you have to do is talk to us..."

"I... I can't promise anything, Colby," Joe advised in a low tone, "but I _will_ try..."

"And that's all we can ask," Colby responded.  He checked his watch and was surprised by how late it was.  He gave Joe's hand one last, re-assuring squeeze, before continuing, "It's late.  You should get some sleep..."

"Is Jonny waiting for you?"

"Yeah," Colby admitted.

"Tell him that him and Kasey are welcome to visit anytime," Joe now sounded really tired.

"I will, Joe," Colby confirmed.  "I'll see you tomorrow..."

And, with that, Colby left, leaving Joe alone with his thoughts.


End file.
